Fate

Bleak. That was about the only word which could describe my world right now. Everything was drained of colour. I stared into nothingness, the pain aching to the very core of myself. As I came closer and closer to her, the pain would increase. I was drawn inexorably towards her and could do nothing to prevent it. A voice within asked Is it really worth it? If you want to hurt yourself, there are so many easier ways to do it. Don't you understand? But another one, darker replied: No, you want this pain. You enjoy it and you are going to smile as it rips apart your flesh and grinds your bones to a pulp. What could I do? I was sinking into that hole, as if into quicksand, and I knew not what was on the other side of it.
I looked up at the sky and asked, “God, why is this happening to me?” He ignored me. I asked again, “What have I done to deserve this, God?” Still He was impassive.
In rage and desperation, I shouted “You sick, perverted bastard! Do you enjoy watching me suffer? Do you like it? Is that why you are doing this to me!?” Finally, He turned his head down towards me and spoke with a voice rumbling with the echoes of thunder. “Listen to me, and listen very carefully. For any happiness I choose to grant you upon this earth, you must bear ten times its weight in sorrow. This is the only way that you can realize how precious it is, how I can take it back from you again in the blink of an eye, leaving you with nothing. You will take it for granted otherwise, this I know.
She will reject you again and again and again. She will ignore you and she will get angry at you for no reason whatsoever. If you truly love her, you will take the silences and harsh words in stride. If you truly love her, then when she says no to you for the thousandth time, you will ask once more, for perhaps her tongue may slip on the thousandth and first. It should not matter to you in the slightest if she is within arm's reach or on another continent. You will wait not for a day or a week, but for months, years, decades if you truly love her. If I made this easy for you, you would take her and her love for granted. You would never realize their full worth and you would exchange them like a pair of clothes, once they were both old and worn.
Let me tell you this-you are not choosing an easy path. Ask yourself for once “Do I doubt my faith in her?” Ask yourself seriously. If you do not feel that you have the strength to make it down this path, then step off of it now. But know this, if you truly love her and ignore this path, you will forever be dissatisfied. You will be dissatisfied as a boy, and you will grow up to be a dissatisfied man. You will age into a dissatisfied elder and when your ashes are finally scattered in the Ganges, your soul will not rise up. It will drown itself in the murky waters, seeking an escape from the regret. Know that I reward faith generously. This winter may last for years and years, but if you can endure it, know that spring will blossom, and that summer in its rich greenery will be yours. You will get what is yours if you have but the faith and perseverance. You will see the light. This is the truth.” And with that, He turned away from me, to once again contemplate His cosmic mysteries. It was then that I realized it: It was not a hole I was falling into. It was my very fate.